I HAVE BEEN LYING TO YOU AND TO MYSELF and I Am Sorry!

January 29th, 2019 | Julia Becerra

That is how one of my closest friends started the conversation when we met again. We hadn’t seen each other for weeks.

I did not know what to say.  What did he mean?  I did the ‘advised’ silence pause, and it worked out.  He continued the conversation saying,  “Not lying in the sense of not telling the whole truth but more in the sense of making you and also my own self believe something that was partially untrue.”

Perplexity grew on me and it was probably obvious in the look on my face.

“A glass of wine?” I offered while pouring one for myself.

“What is this all about?”

“My project!  Launching it has taken longer than expected, and I have been enumerating to you and to myself the many reasons why it has been delayed.”

A sense of relief came.  I prepared myself to hear about things I have probably heard before during my many years of being a Project Manager(#PM). But what came next probably did not qualify as part of that list.  After all, this was a personal thing.   My friend had taken a year off from his demanding job at a financial institution, to pursue a personal project.  He had been working on it day and night and a few months ago, he had said the project was getting close to completion.

“Well, I do remember going through your task list and dependencies and all that and It seemed at the time, all was clear and free of any lies,” I said.

“That is my point” he continued.  That is the part that is only half true.  Yes, all those things are actual situations that have impacted my project and my life, but probably the most important one is not defined there”

“Of course, I am referring to the one most mentioned in project planning: Prioritization.”

I could see he was about to start a whole speech about #ProjectManagement, prioritizing tasks and how the most important tasks move the work closer to long-term goals.  How Prioritizing allows you to identify the most relevant tasks at any moment and give those tasks more of your attention, energy, and time. It allows you to spend more time on the right things… etc, etc

But instead, he said.  “I saw it one winter morning through my bedroom window”.

I opted out the interruptions.

“I walked from my home office to my bedroom to retrieve a pair of headphones, I peered out of the window and I saw my neighbor, walking full speed around his house with a pair of dumbbells on his hands.  How I hadn’t noticed before, I don’t know. I got curious.  Why would he do that on a bitterly cold winter day?.  He could just go to the gym or exercise inside his house.”  My friend continued his narration. I listened.

“I went back to work on my task list and put the event off my mind.

The following day, out of curiosity I checked out of the window again, and there was my neighbor doing the same, this time on a snow-covered surface.

I told myself, I had to find out what was that all about.  In the meantime, I continued working on my project, taking very few breaks if any to eat something or to stretch my arms.”

My friend kept talking omitting no details.

“I had my #priorities set and a well-defined timeline. No time to waste, I reminded myself while I spent every minute tackling items on my project list.  This went on for days and weeks until my body somehow started to break down a bit, the energy level was quite low, and my mind was not as creative or productive at all.  I could not figure it out why.

After a good time of struggling with myself, I went for a physical medical check.  “Are you under a lot of stress?  Have you had enough hours to sleep?  Have you been eating well?  The doctor asked me one question after the other. “I think I have” it is all I could say.

The Doctor ran some tests and told me to wait a couple of days for the results.  I decided to walk home to put my thoughts in order and see what could be wrong.  When I reached the corner of my house, I saw him again, my neighbor!  This time I had to ask him what his routine was about!”

By then, my curiosity has arisen still trying to make the connection between my friend’s personal project, his neighbor and the idea that he had been “lying” about something.  And even more his desire to come “Clean” about it and share it with me.

“I excused myself for interrupting the neighbor’s workout and after a short greeting, I asked” my friend continued.

“What is your routine about?”

“I knew somebody would ask me at some point”, he said smiling. “I am surprised it has taken this long! I guess my neighbors are quite shy.”

“My neighbor slowed down his pace but continued walking, I had to walk around his house, next to him to be able to get my answer” my friend continued the story while my curiosity was skyrocketing.

“It is all about #Priorities or as you would say about accomplishing your goals”, the neighbor replied.

“You see, I work from my home and I also have family obligations, I am always between conference calls, replying emails, working on my assignments and tending my family duties.  I have project plans for almost everything, with each task given a priority etc,  but I realized that to be effective in all that, I had to make myself the highest priority.

I enjoy the outdoors. I need to be outside to see how each day feels like. I need to work out as well, to tend my body and balance my mind. So, I make that my PRIORITY.  My most important task.  When I take a 45 minutes break from everything else, I devote that time to nourish myself.  I go out. if even just around my house, I work out close enough to keep an eye on my family and far enough to be outside and live the weather that everyone talks about.

I end my work day, when my work day is supposed to end, so I do sleep, and I do have dinner with my family.

By doing all that, I empower myself to be healthy enough and balanced enough to tackle everything else in my project list, not one day but EVERY day.

You should try it! It works out!  The neighbor said smiling and speeding up again his daily walk around his property” My friend told me, smiling long enough for me to figure out what his “coming clean” was and why he had decided to share that with me at that time.

“So, you are saying, that was your source of ailments and the one good reason that your project was being delayed? Not making yourself your most important project? And that makes you believe you were lying to me by not seeing the culprit of the slowing down on your progress?” I asked my friend.

Nodding, My friend laughed this time, and he said, “there is a reason I am telling you this story.”

And I knew that!

I just wanted to believe it was just a rare moment of plain sincerity.

Learning the lesson I was taught that day has been quite a process, but all I can tell you, my dear blog reader right now is that this year 2019, you can see my own project going live.  Stay tuned for details!

Meanwhile, let me know, have you ever been in a similar situation?  And are you sure you are making yourself your own highest priority?

Making yourself your first priority takes different shades and colors for each person.  What does it mean to you?

I would love to hear your thoughts.

 

Thank you for reading my blog.

 

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