Jules Heartly | March 23^RD, 2020 –  Day EIGHT of my day-to-day during Covid19-Mandated life changes. 

This is harder than I thought.

I woke up in the middle of the night in a state of panic.  True, severe panic. Not sure what it was the nightmare I had about, but I was unsettled.  I asked myself,  for how long will we have to go through this #StayHome sort of isolation? And would that guarantee we don’t get sick?  Especially when at some point we need to go out for groceries or gas, etc? or to check on a loved one.  I feel that any time I go out for any reason, I need to count another fourteen days to keep an eye for any symptoms.  This sounds like an endless thing.  And of course, when you feel any little thing, an allergy cough, or any sign of tiredness, then you jump to make sure you don’t have a temperature, etc.  So in a way, I live life on the edge.

Looking for ways to calm me down, after waking up in the middle of the night.  I remembered a tip I had learned at a Kabbalah class, for those moments when after having a nightmare there is a residual emotional discomfort: “Remember nothing had happened, it was just a bad dream”. “ Don’t trust your emotions. See the facts”.  Nevertheless, I had to go into meditation to conquer the feeling and go back to sleep.

Later in the morning,  I got a call from my sister, the same person I do almost everything with, go for a walk, go grocery shopping, go to a Broadway show, go to the pets store, talk about books, talk about movies or talk about nothing and just hangout.  “I left your birthday present at the door, but I am sorry I can’t hug you to congratulate you on your especial day”.  She said.  I ran down the stairs and opened the door, and there it was, the birthday present resting alone in the doorsteps and my sister weaving to me from her car window.

My throat got dry as if swallowing sand.  My eyes got watery, and I just didn’t know what to do.  I walked outside in the rain to get to the car, but she slowly drove away.  “The idea was that you did not come out,” she said over the phone.  “We must protect each other” she continued.

I saw her waving goodbye through my front glass door. Gosh, that was painful.  A sadness the size of the Adirondack mountains came to me. A rush of emotions went through my body.  I mean wow!  I did not expect it. Being apart from your own family!

I do understand it is necessary.  I do know it is temporary. But It DOES hurt!

I did my best to go back to work, my eyes sightless and sighted lensed with tears. It began to rain harder outside. The sounds of the rain which other times I found soothing , this time felt sorrowful. I finally got temporarily distracted by phone calls from friends and family wishing me a healthy birthday.

The cake I baked suddenly looked so big for me to enjoy.  I usually have my mother and other family members around for the moment when you blow the candle, but this time, all of them were somewhere else doing their part to keep  #SocialDistancing.  So, I decided to join them via video call.  Bottle of Champagne ready to be opened, I dialed my father first, and my brother next. And in groups of three, I had not one but many celebrations.

And I would lie to you if I’d said, it felt the same or better than having them at home, but I was thankful to be able to see them healthy and to imagine many other people being so too!

So, dear friends, I invite you to do the same today, DO NOT  wait until a birthday occasion, pick up your smartphone or tablet, etc., and video call your love ones.  It would make a difference in their lives and yours, and it will help us to #stopCovid19Spread and end this quarantine soon.

How do you cope with the #stayHome mandate today?

I would love to hear from you.

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