And Hope To Come Out Of It Alive and Well!

Jules Heartly | January 2022

I had had an overly stressful week, which, of course, meant I hadn’t eaten well as I usually did, neither I had had a restful sleep for a few days. When Friday came up, I was literally at the verge of a nervous breakdown for things that now looking back did not deserve the energy consumption/waste I allowed them to have. 

The weekend went well overall. Despite the freezing temperatures, I had driven for an hour to pick up my mother and taken her for her Covid19 booster shot at CVS.  I even took her for a haircut at an otherwise empty neighborhood salon where we were obliged to wear a mask, to comply with local regulations.  

As we had entered 2022 while watching #Omicron, the new variant of #Covid19 show up into the world with the inevitability of having cold weather in the winter and the daily reminder of how the Coronavirus infects over 300,000 Americans every day, regulations were once again enforced to build barriers against “The Beast” and impede its growing expansion. 

I was back to being overly careful. I limited meetings with friends in enclosed spaces; I got all the vaccinations recommended (two plus the booster) and I was sure to wear the mask, even in places where there were only two people inside at a distance larger than two meters. 

After all, it had been almost two years since “The Covid Beast” had set foot on the planet, and I had been lucky NOT to be counted among the many that had faced it in person. 

 During the last few days, I had received news from three close friends all from distant geographical locations, JG in Spain,   Adriana in Bogota, Colombia and Lilly in NY indicating they had not only tested positive for Covid19 but they were going through rough symptoms.  I felt even more grateful not to be one of them, and made daily contact to find out about their progress with their dealing with “The Beast” and about their developing symptoms.   The first thing I noticed was although one symptom or two was common among them, it seemed as if all three had a different disease altogether based on their health complaints. 

The other thing all had in common, was that they were careful, observant, vigilant on avoiding being infected, and regardless of all that… they had ended up with Covid19. None of them had gone through the crazy thought of getting contaminated to get it done with or to get the benefits of not needing to show vaccination proof like the folk singer Hana Horka RIP, who died shortly after getting herself  purposely infected with the virus. NO. All my friends had been far away from wanting to get it. 

My geographically closer friends were also taking all precautions to either avoid contamination or in the event of having Covid avoid spreading it.  That  is how my plans to get together with one of my girlfriends ,  the one in charge of our book club, got canceled. She was experiencing a scratchy throat, and as we all know these days, any symptom could be “THE covid19 beast” symptom. 

Monday and Tuesday came along, and although I haven’t had a single martini, I found myself dizzy,  like in a funny way.. My body being tempted to sway down on one side more than the other.  I found that odd.  “ It must be allergies,” I thought and popped up an allergy pill. 

Wednesday was quite cold (duh)  but not breezy at all. It felt like a crispy gala apple, and I felt so tempted to go for a long walk to the nearby forest.  The feeling of the personification of winter among the leafless trees and the singing bluejays was something I enjoyed. Towards the end of the walk, I got again that funny feeling in my throat, one I had had in the past because of acid reflux.  Was that it?  Acid reflux burning up my throat as a punishing act for my previous week’s food misbehavior? Barely eating or eating off schedule?

I did not know.  The sun was getting lazy, and some clouds were helping it to quickly fade away,  almost like the crashing ocean waves covering the sand at high tide.  I went back home, and had one of my signature cure-all home medicines: apple cider vinegar. That should do it.  That would take care of that funny, almost scratchy throat. 

 The rest of the afternoon was uneventful.  On Thursday,the oddness continued,  not only I was dizzy but the thing in the throat had not gone away, my mind wasn’t as sharp.   Have I gotten it?

“No, I don’t think so” I reassured myself.  I mentally revisited my whereabouts for the last week.  No. Not a chance!   But remembering my friend’s situation, I decided to quarantine for the time being.  I canceled any upcoming get-togethers, and I bought supplies: NYQUIL, powder Vitamin C, sore throat lozenges, teas, tylenol etc. 

On Friday I was in a daze,  I slept  part of the day, and I wasn’t sure whether I had done things from the to-do list or I hadn’t.  I had NO fever, NO body aches.  The scratchy throat was now a sore throat but that and feeling tired was about it.  

As the hours and next couple days passed by,  I optimistically compared the different symptoms of Covid, flu, colds and allergies chart, and I grew convinced all I had was a cold, but out of precaution, I continued quarantining …. Just in case I was wrong. 

What I didn’t know at the time (although I read information from various serious websites including mayoclinic, cdc, etc) was that as the time progressed, the symptoms developed, or better, new symptoms arrived.   Just like a two-day Indian wedding party, the food keeps coming, but it keeps changing too!  

Now I was non-stop for a few hours, discharging blood clots and blood through my nose and throat.   I checked the symptom everywhere  on the web, and It didn’t say whether it was a Covid symptom or not.  As I was urged to go to the hospital, I thought of all the facilities being overwhelmed with patients in more need than I thought I had. Instead, I tried every single home remedy read or heard of to stop a nose/throat bleeding.   Eventually the condition improved. And a stubborn headache that no Tylenol ever would heal came up that night.

The next morning, an uncomfortable feeling in my eyes, like a stingy sensation and a minor cough followed, but nothing different that anybody will get when having a cold or an allergy.  I checked the symptoms comparison chart again.  It seemed I had a cold. 

 Cold!  That was exactly how my body was feeling, like an ice sheet covering it all!  stuck to it like chewed gum on the subway steps.  Undetachable.  My friends advised me to go for the Covid test.  My family insisted I get one. 

I was optimistic.  Nah!  “I would not be one facing “the Covid beast”.   But I didn’t want to continue quarantining forever.  

Yes, I was lucky.  I had been spending the quarantining time in a room with a patio view.  One where I could enjoy the subtleness of the sky at dawn and the majestic look of a winter sky at sunset.  One where I could admire the birds taking turns to have their water after getting their daily share of seeds in our bird feeder.  I could get enticed by the ever white snowflakes falling down with no hurry at times or furiously pushed by the wind at others.  I didn’t want to imagine how it would be to quarantine in a room without a window.  And I felt bad for all the people that had no other choice.  

The window to the outside world was a big help. But I could do all that without having to be restricted to a single  room in my house.  I could also go out for a walk and have coffee or a martini with my neighbor and to do that, I needed to take the test. 

Was I facing the beast?  The covid beast?

I opened the at-home-test package and watched the instructions online.  I performed the test, set up the timer and went about my next 10 minutes as if nothing important was happening. I was  being optimistic while ignoring a dandling pressure on my chest, which had appeared earlier and seemed to thrive as the day advanced. 

 The result came up, and I smiled with dismay.  I was wrong!  I tested POSITIVE.  I had already been facing the beast!  I hid well for two years, but I had lowered my guard at a moment where #Covid variant, #Omicron was the most #contagious.  

What to do next?  

Anxiety started to settle in and I knew I couldn’t let it linger for too long.  I did more information digging on what to expect.  I also contacted my primary care physician and asked for guidance regarding the increasing chest pain.  I started using the oximeter and of course I contacted my already #Covid positive friends with the news.   Their symptoms kept being different.  Well they were ahead of me in their battle, which was an advantage in a way. .. at least information wise..

To keep anxiety at bay :

1-  I Told myself to be patient, which at  times was hard as  each minute tended to be filled with distressing thoughts and feelings. For a few nights I was waken up at 3:30 a.m. by a unrecognizable panic. I wanted to stay alive. “I  have the booster.  My immune system can handle this” I kept saying to myself.

2- I Avoided despair and adopted Tragic optimism.  An attitude which   asks you to focus on the good moments, even during bad times.  I was actually doing better symptoms-wise than my counterparts.  “My body is strong, my  appetite is great! I can handle this! I can beat the beast!”  The truth was, my body is an amazing creature!  Anytime I have fallen sick to a respiratory illness, my appetite has gotten better and better.  I could eat all day literally!  So I did it.  I had soups, and soups, and large breakfasts, and large dinners!  I mean I fed my body to give the fight with all its force!

3-I Gave myself permission to take it easy.  That sounds like a simple thing to do, but for me was probably one of the hardest ones to accomplish.  First, I wanted to keep going with all the planned tasks and then I wanted to see how I could take advantage of the “down” time.  So finally when I started upping my game in yoga breathing exercises to improve my pulmonary function, and in meditation to improve my overall being, I realized I had finally accepted it was fine to do nothing else than to take care of my body and myself to effectively not only survive but beat Covid.  I even binged in some Australian Open tennis and got to watch a Netflix movie. 

In the meantime, I shared notes with my friends about their recovery.  Their fever had subsided, as well as the throat pain and the body aches.  (something I didn’t get.  Thank Goodness).

As I started feeling better, a triumphant sensation was tampering my mind… was that it?  Was I at the end of it?   

That is when I found out the roller coaster manner in which Covid rides our bodies. The following day I went back to not feeling great and developed a more constant cough.  I compared notes again with my girlfriend in NY, Lilly, who confirmed she had gone through the same ride.   

Two days later, I really felt like I was getting to the very end of it, I had slept better and I was more optimistic,  but then exactly then another symptom came up!  I felt  phlegm, plenty of it.  I was experiencing upper respiratory congestion(nose and throat).  Lilly was experiencing the same.  (We haven’t seen each other during all this time, but notes compared… revealed: that symptom checked!).

The truth is, during the quarantine time, being able to stay in touch with friends around the world who were in a similar situation and who were making positive progress,  was bonding. Throughout the distance, we helped each other with tips of what worked or didn’t. Home remedies. We checked on each other.  It was a reassuring friendship event. 

It was a source of positive thinking and strength as well.  We could all get out of it!  We could all survive it!  It could just be a memory.  Perhaps the subject of a boring blog!  I thought. 

“For how much longer do I need to quarantine?”  I asked my primary care physician.  The answer sounded vague but it was consistent with what I had read.  “A total of 10 days at the minimum.  Keep in mind, the Covid test may still show as positive and you may still carry the virus but it may not be contagious … and that “may not” be, is really iffy, I know) as long as there is no fever and most of the symptoms have subsided”.  “Use the mask when indoors” he said, but most likely you are off of it. 

“You beat the beast!”  he said with a grin perceived over the phone.  

Once last #Covid #symptoms check with my friends confirmed they were getting out of it too! I was happy and grateful!

I am thankful to my body for all the work put on to stay healthy.   I am thankful to the universe for its assistance in so many ways!  I am very thankful to my family for the ongoing support…. But deep inside!  I am disappointed the beast made me face it in spite of it all!  

And you my dear reader, have you faced the #CovidBeast yet? and if yes, How was your experience?

Thank you for reading my blog,

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