That followed…..

Jules Heartly | January 2023

Suddenly I noticed an unfamiliar constant sound.  My first reaction was to ignore it. But it persisted, the humming at the same  steady volume, interfering with the clear echo of the rain drops furiously hitting the driveway  pavement.    I have perceived the rain before. In fact, on many occasions I had allowed myself to listen to the water precipitation that somehow made me discern creativity and activate a sensation of being at home, safe.  Even when I wasn’t at home. 

But that annoying sound of what I found out later was the refrigerator, was the first sign that I had taken the first step towards my goal of detaching myself from my phone for several hours a day.   See, without knowing it, I had gradually used the device (a.k.a smartphone) more and more often.  Between emails, texts and social media plus youtube, music apps  and some reels here and there, I hardly had time with myself!   Hardly having a solo time with my thoughts or just with my being.

Even when I went out for walks in the forest, or in my neighborhood, I had “the thing” with me. But not only as a device I could use at any moment but as a device, I was using almost compulsively when not making excuses to do so, to check something on it, or just to listen to music.  Doubtlessly, I was more and more dependent on it than what I would like to recognize.  Although undeniably bothered me  the annoying notification sounds at the most inconvenient times, I still kept checking my phone sometimes for no reason.

I read that “the combination of information foraging habits and the avoidance of boredom makes us check our smartphones so often. We need novelty to fight our boredom and smartphones open doors to a virtual world where information flows continuously.”  and believe me I am seldom bored but surely I was doing the checking thing.

 And that was not me!  That was not the person I knew before.  In fact, I was a critic of people who did that.   People who couldn’t be anywhere, just being there, without the constant look at their phones., perhaps because the unconscious player’s role within the reward system activated by social media made them do so.

My eyesight was probably the first sign I was overdoing it.  And then the anxiety that came from checking it too often and not finding anything newly interesting from my previous check a minute ago. And then my productivity!  Getting up at 5 a.m. and checking on what I had accomplished at 10:00 a.m always made me wonder.. What had my time gone? What was using my valuable morning time?  Some “detective work” and time tracking led me to the culprit: Time spent on my smartphone! 

This is a smartphone addiction!  We check our smartphone frequently in search of the latest bit of information to get our shot of dopamine. 

Doing so has led to a phenomenon of multitasking , which we have learned now is not what our brains are designed to do:

We can’t resist the temptation to switch tasks, to check our smartphone while someone is speaking or when we are engaged in a demanding task. This, in turn, influences our capacity to focus and decreases our productivity.  NO matter how early in the morning I got up, I found myself unhappy when I reviewed my accomplishments vs. my goals for that period of time.

So I decided to work on some detachment, which is really hard, when everything you can think of depends on having a smartphone handy.  Every activity nowadays feels like it requires an application.  And some applications are not even available on other devices like a laptop or tablet, making it more difficult to break free from it.  Nevertheless, I came up with the plan of scheduling time off from the phone and time with myself.  

And no, it didn’t mean to have fun doing the things I love or following my hobbies, which it was allowed of course!  No, what it meant was to have time doing whatever activity necessary but without the use of the phone. Period!.  So there I was at my  dining table on a rainy evening, letting my mind be quiet,  being surprised by the other sounds of the house, which I hadn’t minded before, because I was too busy being the slave of my smartphone. 

Now, in my time of  freedom,  I had this wonderful experience of being with the best of me, with the self.  I felt curious, an explorer, almost happy.  I  observed.  I recalled magical moments. I perceived emotions that have been stirring within me.  I moved my body with a different sense of purpose. I did chores with real focus. Things seemed more at ease.  Tasks more doable. 

I became aware of my breathing.  I heard it. Listened.  Witnessed it.

It was guiding me to make other incredible, subtle, perhaps obvious discoveries. And as I let it happen, it created pathways leading to new habits, on the journey of the self, through the self.

If only for that period of time.

With the hope of making it longer and longer, because freedom my friends, starts to claim itself with no limits.

And as I am aware this is a baby step. The sentiment, the experience is encouraging. We know it takes more than that to create a habit, but when the emotion comes along with the desire.  Chances are higher … of creating the wanted reality. 

Even just the awareness  of this smartphone addiction is in itself, a great accomplishment.  One with its own loud voice demanding the freedom for the BEING.  The independence to live the encounter with oneself.  The peace.  The serenity. The calm, soothing, caressing, warm  waters of a vacation from the thing! 

And you, my dear reader, could you relate to this specific technology addiction? And what are you doing to claim your liberty?

I would love to know, please take a minute or two to write me a note.

Thank you for reading my blog.

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